Here's a taste of what Larry Guest was receiving from NBA fans. We're not even a full 3 weeks in and NBA supporters were already feeling antsy.
The customers always write...
Dear Larry: As I blinked myself awake one recent morning, I read that the NBA Players Association, meeting in Hawaii, and the NBA owners are not making enough money. I guess they figure that if we fans have kept the turnstiles whirling to date, we don't have highly developed observational skills.
I, for one, have seen enough. No other business would have the gall to bill you for thousands of dollars for a two-dollar item that might be delivered and might not - depending on how all the pouting millionaires at the home office feel that day.
The Magic called to offer us one more chance to keep the four seats my family has held since the beginning but didn't renew. Only 25 percent down on a season that may or may not happen, where Emperor Michael may or may not play, Latrell could choke another coach, hundreds more illegitimate children might be conceived, and Penny may get inspired to saunter off the bench. Please pass along my answer: NO THANKS. This ex-sucker is saving for a trip to Hawaii. - Janet Walsh, Orlando
Jaundiced Janet: I'm afraid neither players nor owners have given much consideration to how people like you are viewing their freestyle money grapple. I suspect they will be discovering soon that there are far more ex-suckers like you out here than they ever imagined.
Dear Larry: How many times have teams led by Shaquille O'Neal been swept in a playoff series? What does that say about character? And, does character count? But then I would have traded O'Neal for Alonzo Mourning and Kendall Gill on draft day years ago - if Charlotte was dumb enough to do it.
Shaq's play in the playoffs this year was, at times, an awesome display of offensive talents. The spin move on Malone. The followup dunk on Ostertag. The putback of a Horry miss. But on the other end, Bill Russell he's not. There's no ``D'' in Shaquille. The number of times it was 5-on-4 can't be encouraging to his Lakers teammates. - Eric Ludwig, Orlando
Eric: If I haven't lost count, I think the Shaq Sweeps are now up to four. The truly amusing part of the Big Fella's bow out this year was his command for his non-supporting cast to get off of ``his'' team.